Unfortunately for you, there's nothing here!
That being said, here's a picture of my icpc teammates from NAC 2025:

Here's a picture from when I won the beginner poker tournament (6/19):

Here's a demonstration on the only correct way to hold a psyduck:

Here's a series of selfies I took at NAC as a challenge from the one and only Nick Wu (tourist, Bill Poucher, Andrew He and Kevin Sun, Nick Wu, in order):

Here's a report on the duck cult growth (idk what these ducks are but their numbers are growing and they are infiltating our office. They might be allied with the gnomes and conspiring to overthrow us!!! More reports to be added later).

Here's a picture of nanoblob orz, monkey8 orz, and Alan (amazed orz). The ratio of orzer to orzed is 2:2.

And finally here's a list (2) of cp problems I've written:

• Jar Jar Thinks (ACPC 24)
• Mystery Permutation (ACPC 25)

Random reference to my final paper from my number theory class (MAT 115B):

More random thoughts:

• I intend to start gymming. Please call me out if I am not. I already skipped today.
• I also intend on learning yo-yo tricks. nvm I broke the yo-yo.
• The most important one: I intend on practicing cp. PLEASE CALL ME OUT IF I AM NOT!!!